Mental Flexibility and Happiness

When we are young, we don't know enough to have set up limits on what we experience.  Everything is new so we get to have an experience and then make a decision on how we feel about it. 

We taste foods that are new to us and see if we like them. We have responses based on openness instead of reactions based on memory of past experience.  We may as a child like broccoli and think it's fun to eat something that looks like a miniature tree.  I still think that's kind of amazing.

Then we begin to grow up...

We realize unconsciously that to be a human being, we have to have likes and dislikes.  Some of these we are authentic about, some are based on the subcultures of groups of people that we are a part of.  For example, if your family tribe has strong food preferences they may become your belief systems as well - ie. if your parents are vegan you may either become vegan or be staunchly an omnivore.  Or if you grew up in a household with strong political views, you may have taken them on or found a need for rebellion to find your own way.

Any way you look at it, our lives as we become adults can become inflexible due to the number of choices we make along the way to defend our preferences in order to become the person we feel we either should be or want to be. 

It's kind of like there is an inner library.  We start out with a few books and a lot of open rooms but as we fill up our bookshelves, we sometimes forget to expand the library and get trapped within its walls, unaware of the ability to break them down and open to new ideas.

And while this is a natural evolution into adulthood, it isn't necessarily helpful if your goal is to be happy.

Happiness requires flexibility.

If you are only happy when your meter for what is 'good' is balanced, you will forever be attached to making your world fit your belief for what is right for you.  How often does that really work?  How often can we control the world around us? 

So what if instead we learned how to be flexible and while holding true to our values, allowed our world to be a bit more of a mess without being affected by it.  In fact, I'll take that a step further, what if, in our current world, we let go of some of the old beliefs about how people are and how things work and let today be a new day.  What if we let ourselves try things like they were new and have new experiences that allow us to determine if, in our world today, we like broccoli?

So how do we get flexible?  There are many ways to learn to be more flexible in your thinking. 

One of the most valuable ways is to start making small changes to your daily experience in order to help your brain establish new pathways and work in new ways.

For example you might try:

-  Taking a new route to and/or from work every day for a week - ie. a different route every day.  See how you feel at the end of the week and I'll bet, if you leave yourself the space and time to experience this without stress (this is key, don't make this a stressful event - make it an adventure), you will feel happier and not even know why.

-  Make a practice of eating at least 3 different colors at every meal.  I'm not going to go into a full explanation of this one but making a conscious effort to bring colors into your body has an interesting effect on the brain. 

-  Choose to talk to people you never talk to and LISTEN to them.  Ask them where they are from, hear their stories and let the stories of others expand your world.   Now I'm not saying to go up to random people on the subway as that may feel a bit unsafe for some people.   Make this natural - maybe a new person at work or the cashier at the grocery store.  Ask where they are from and see what happens from there.

-  Go somewhere in nature that you haven't ever been once a week for a month and see how you feel at the end of the month.  For example, go sit in valley forge park or check out an arboretum (we have fantastic arboretums in PA, or take friends/ family with you to Longwood Gardens (or do what I do once a year and take a day off during the week and go and walk around with a cup of coffee or tea and just enjoy the amazing gardens for a couple of hours.)

I hope you take the reigns to increase your flexibility, it truly does create a happier, more expressive and more expansive life.

Many Blessings,

Jenifer